Laverne & Shirley
The latest news from the pipeline in Pennsylvania is: my mom got two new puppies!
I suppose if I don't have any nieces or nephews for the time being, I might as well get... more dogs in my family (slight brow furrowing). More precisely, however, these are not just any dogs, but victims of what seems to be the latest in doggy genetics at work-- the product of the thinking, "Let's try to breed dogs as small as possible so that they can fit in handbags and loyally accompany their owners hither and yonder." My new canine siblings, named Laverne & Shirley, are "teacups"-- meaning they are literally the size of... a teacup. (See photo.)
This has severe implications:
1. They can get squashed and die if someone would happen to close a door on the poor things, so they have been trained to stop and wait at all doorways until someone comes to pick them up and carry them into the next room.
2. They can't go to the bathroom outside or for walks like those larger, unrefined dogs, because birds might think they are mice and snatch them up for an early breakfast. They instead have to be potty-trained to go on "pee pads" that are set up in the house, kind of like a litter box (but smaller!).
3. My mom combs her hair to go to her meetings, and then combs the dog's hair for its daily outing. Laverne & Shirley can be dressed with little bows in their hair, and like I said before, carried along in a handbag for everyone to gawk at. In Tokyo, I bet I could even find them a distinguished "teacup" sized Burberry sweater and matching hairbow.
Apparently right now, Laverne is the only one home, because Shirley is still being trained not to walk through doorways!
If they make Mom happy (and they seem to), then I'm happy! I'm sure they make the house a bit of a livelier place now that my big mouth and I (and all my friends' big mouths) are gone.
Anyway, I think I know what my Christmas wish this year will be: not to overdo it on the wine and accidentally step on a "teacup"...!
I suppose if I don't have any nieces or nephews for the time being, I might as well get... more dogs in my family (slight brow furrowing). More precisely, however, these are not just any dogs, but victims of what seems to be the latest in doggy genetics at work-- the product of the thinking, "Let's try to breed dogs as small as possible so that they can fit in handbags and loyally accompany their owners hither and yonder." My new canine siblings, named Laverne & Shirley, are "teacups"-- meaning they are literally the size of... a teacup. (See photo.)
This has severe implications:
1. They can get squashed and die if someone would happen to close a door on the poor things, so they have been trained to stop and wait at all doorways until someone comes to pick them up and carry them into the next room.
2. They can't go to the bathroom outside or for walks like those larger, unrefined dogs, because birds might think they are mice and snatch them up for an early breakfast. They instead have to be potty-trained to go on "pee pads" that are set up in the house, kind of like a litter box (but smaller!).
3. My mom combs her hair to go to her meetings, and then combs the dog's hair for its daily outing. Laverne & Shirley can be dressed with little bows in their hair, and like I said before, carried along in a handbag for everyone to gawk at. In Tokyo, I bet I could even find them a distinguished "teacup" sized Burberry sweater and matching hairbow.
Apparently right now, Laverne is the only one home, because Shirley is still being trained not to walk through doorways!
If they make Mom happy (and they seem to), then I'm happy! I'm sure they make the house a bit of a livelier place now that my big mouth and I (and all my friends' big mouths) are gone.
Anyway, I think I know what my Christmas wish this year will be: not to overdo it on the wine and accidentally step on a "teacup"...!
posted by JoLo in Tokyo @ 7:49 PM
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